Dear Parents,

The first weeks of school can be a very trying time for your child.  They are being forced to deal with new boundaries and expectations that can feel downright frightening.  They have a particular self image that does not match their new role in boarding school.  Not only do they not WANT to change, they believe that they can’t.  They assume an attitude of, “I’m not doing this! I have to get out of here!”

The programs and traditions in place are tried and true methods to change this attitude and foster healthy emotional development and personal growth. They are used because they work.

You may receive text messages, phone calls, and IMs from your child pleading to come home. These messages are difficult to hear and read.  Be assured that your child is in good hands and their resistance to change is normal.

What is needed at this time is your support and reinforcement of the school’s culture.  Below are some tips to help you support your child during this transition. By following these suggestions, you will give your child the space and support they need to get started on the right foot.

1. agree to set weekly or semi-weekly times to talk on the phone and limit calls to 1/2 hour or less.
2.  pre-arrange for weekly check-in system with students advisor – respect time boundaries – frequent short check-ins are more helpful than crisis driven reactive calls.
3. practice listening skills when student is sharing “news” and information.
4. revisit the temptation to solve problems – this is a skill that boarding school will foster in your child.
5. Check with school administration/faculty before reacting to or assuming comments to be fact. (an adolescents perception of events often differs from adults)
6. Support school schedules and rules – try not to ask for “exceptions.”
7. Attend parent events
8. Do not engage in or support on-line undermining or “gossip”. Help redirect disgruntled parents to school administrators.
9. Offer to host regional information nights for interested families. Use the evening to explain advantages of the boarding school experience and the specific strengths of your school.
10. Attend “away” sports events for any/all sports in which students are participating.
11. Make an effort to attend school functions. Plays, art shows, speakers, parent association meetings, awards functions, sports events etc.

Enter your relationship with school administration and faculty as a Team member and you’ll be doing your child a great service. Remember you are all there to support your child through this experience and grow as a family.  Assume and exhibit good-will and positive effort.  Develop a relationship with a school member so you trust their work. By following the above suggestions you will be supporting your child through this most difficult transition and showing them that you believe in their ability to grow into a healthy, mature adult.

Kindest Regards,
Nancy Edwards
Educational Consultant

A new school year is upon us and for many parents this can be a very stressful time. How will their child do this year?  Will it be another year filled with phone calls from teachers, guidance counselors and the school principal? Will social anxiety and peer pressure continue to change the sweet and outgoing child they once knew?  Or, will this year finally be an academic success? Will this be the year that self confidence replaces self consciousness and their tortured teen blossoms into a healthy young adult. Far too often the pressures of “fitting in”, effects of bullying, and or the lack of an academically challenging environment can become an obstacle to the student fulfilling their maximum potential.Nancy Edwards of Skaneateles is an Educational Consultant. She has helped families from all over the country find educational/behavioral solutions that place students in settings that help them reach levels in their personal and academic development that they otherwise would not have met. In Nancy’s words,  ”Our public school system is an excellent choice for many students. Some students need a learning environment that is more challenging, while others need an environment that is considerate of their emotional,social and academic needs. The right learning environment can really catapult students into their college career. They are often different for the individual student.  The appropriate school fosters self motivation, self regulation, self esteem, and personal responsibility. It’s a time when a child is caught between wanting to stay in childhood and moving forward into adulthood. It’s scary and confusing.  Providing students with the best educational opportunities available helps them move forward into their adulthood with enthusiasm and confidence.”

Nancy works closely with parents and students.  She helps identify core issues that may be holding a child back and finds the right learning/social environment to develop the student’s strengths and change maladaptive patterns. Parents only have 4 short years to get it right and one or two wrong choices can prove to be catastrophic. Nancy’s experience allows her to match students with the learning environments that help them mature into healthy adults and actualize their maximum potential.

Nancy works as a liaison between parents and various boarding, prep, and alternative schools throughout the country.  She helps with everything from finding the perfect school to securing financial aid.  Her clients range from the academically advanced, to students with ADD and Autism, to students struggling with depression and low self esteem.  She also helps families who are struggling with “troubled teens”, addictions, and behavioral issues.

“Parents need to know that there are people out there who can help them find the best opportunities for their child. No student is a lost cause. There are alternatives and they are many,” assures Edwards.

For more information you can reach Nancy by calling 315-277-6063 or emailing academicchoices@gmail.com.